#29 – Spend a day spoiling my Mum
In putting together my list of 40 things to do before I turn 40 I realised that I had never properly said thank you to some of the most important people in my life, my Mum in particular. So now was the time.
Of course, it is perfectly possible to simply say ‘Thank you’ and have a conversation about what that means but I decided that as well as doing that I wanted to give Mum the one thing which is in short supply in my life; time. So I booked a day off work and put together a day that Mum would enjoy, to spoil her in addition to letting her know how much I appreciate all that she has done for me and how much she means to me.
For my Mum, family is number one and always comes first, so a family element to the day was important. She also likes walking (as do I), and of course I wanted to pamper her too. To start the day I therefore treated us to a family breakfast, arranging to meet Mum, Dad, my sister and my nephew in a café.
This was a lovely part of the day as we had a chance to have a proper chat and enjoy some good food whilst someone else was responsible for the washing up! Even better was the fact that Mum hadn’t thought that I would arrange for my sister to be there as well, so it was a lovely surprise for her on arrival. She loves spending time with her grandchildren, so enjoyed her unexpected cuddles.
For the afternoon I had booked us a spa session at the luxurious Carey’s Manor in the New Forest, but we had some spare time before we were due there so we stopped off in Lyndhurst and completed a walking Treasure Trail in the town. Mum really enjoyed it – a chance to stretch our legs, some fresh air, something to make us use our brains and an introduction to the town’s history at the same time.
Our afternoon was a real treat. We were welcomed into the spa at Carey’s Manor with refreshing tea, had a dip in the pool, relaxed in the various steam rooms, played with the experience showers, enjoyed the Jacuzzi and then sat down for our lovely afternoon tea.
Over tea, I took the opportunity to say thank you properly to Mum and to remember all the wonderful little things she has done for me that make her an amazing Mum, because sometimes it’s the small things which mean the most. The fact that she was always there for us when we came home from school, that when I cycled to college she would have the garage door open for me to put my bike away and have a hot cup of tea waiting for me. The numerous fantastic fancy dress costumes she created and all the dance costumes stitched, often late into the night. The sacrifices she and Dad made when we were small, like cutting out the back of cereal packets to use as insoles for their shoes when they had holes in them because we needed new school shoes and they couldn’t afford to buy shoes for us and for themselves. The fact that when I was homesick in my first term at University, Mum wrote me a letter or a postcard every single day for weeks so that I had some post in my pigeonhole and didn’t feel so far away from home. The poems Mum and Dad wrote for every one of my exams throughout school, college and Uni to wish me luck in a very personal way. Supporting me through my divorce, even though that was really difficult for Mum to accept. She really did put me first then. We talked about the fact that for Mum, motherhood means sacrifice, and she certainly has given up a lot for us. It was wonderful to have the opportunity to talk in detail about all of the things she did that made her such a great Mum, and to make sure that she knows how much she means to me.
After a relaxing time in the spa, watching the day deepen into evening and the lights and candles around the pools transform the spa to a magical paradise, I took Mum home with me and then cooked her and Dad dinner at my flat. I knew she would appreciate home cooking more than being taken out to a restaurant, so we enjoyed a Venison and Red Wine Casserole followed by Blackberry Meringue pudding.
At the end of the day, Mum said that she’s had a wonderful time and hadn’t given a thought to her everyday concerns and worries all day. I’m so pleased to have given her a chance to relax and switch off. It was a really memorable day and I’m so glad I had the chance to spend this time with Mum. In my work (as a Funeral Director), there are too many reminders that life is there to be lived and if there are things you want to do or say it’s best to get on with it and do or say them because you never know when you will no longer have the chance.
So, for all my readers – life is short. Tell people you love them, say thank you, let your loved ones know how much they mean to you.
Tags: appreciating what you have, living before it's too late, living without regrets, making the most of life, no regrets, saying thank you to mum, saying thank you to those you love, spa day with mum, spoil your mum